Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
