Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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