I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
