if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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