I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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