I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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