just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wear drunk well.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
