too bad you live with your parents still
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
