I'd wear matching sweaters with you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
smell my finger.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
