we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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