im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
