Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
