You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
