Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
