A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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