Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
