office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
