so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
