we're chasing vodka with high fives
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
