Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
