I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize