? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
