I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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