i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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