She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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