Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
