i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize