just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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