Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
