Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
