Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am one with the molecules
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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