She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
