btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
