I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
