can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i drank out of a bidet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
