I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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