there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
