): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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