careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
