I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
