First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize