Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize