can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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