last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize