I am in a vortex of obligation.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
