she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
