Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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