shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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