Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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