She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
