You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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