im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
