I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
