so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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