Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
