no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
