Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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