why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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