i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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