Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
